When is it okay to state the obvious?
You have probably experienced saying the wrong thing at the wrong time because it seemed like it was a safe and obvious thing to say. For example, that time you wanted to prove that you were observant and that you were a caring person for everyone around you, not just the people you know. So, you thought it would be a fine idea to congratulate the cashier on her pregnancy and you ask how far along she was. The only problem, she wasn’t pregnant.
We feel compelled to let others know that we see them. It is a kind gesture to be sure. It can make the world they live in feel brighter. And so, you wanted to acknowledge the beautiful moment shared by a grandmother and granddaughter at the grocery store and so you asked how old the granddaughter is only to find that she is not a granddaughter but is actually the daughter.
We have probably all made those kinds of mistakes or know someone who has. Knowing what to say and when to say it really is a skill that most of us learn the hard way. Here are a few moments when it is encouraged to state the obvious.
The time when you see a father working a full-time job and having two side hustles just to make enough to pay bills on time and looks exhausted, state the obvious.
When you see a student give up time with friends and family to focus on studying, who also works a part-time job to help pay their way and constantly looks in need of a nap, say the obvious thing.
When you see a mom who looks exhausted because who knows really when she had a full night of sleep last because of babies, sick kids, part-time/full-time jobs, and ALL OF EVERYTHING ELSE moms do? Then and only then is it okay to state the obvious.
And to be clear, the most obvious thing we can point out is not what they look like, because they know what they look like.
Share with them something they may not know or feel.
Say the obvious to everyone around them.
Tell them that they are doing GREAT!
Gracious (kind) words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.